Ok, by this point I have spent a fair amount of time talking about what "church" should and shouldn't be. Follow me on a journey, a journey to a place that I hope nobody else ever visits: church hell.
As a seminarian, I am required to have the endorsement of my home congregation in order to attend seminary. (Theoretically,) these are the people who know me best. These people know the David that exists outside of an interview. That's fair. I don't mind. The unfortunate byproduct of this arrangement is that I am stuck at my church, and to make matters worse, I am in some ways subject to "the powers that be."
Let's take a moment to look at the leadership of my church. The president of the congregation recently had a serious illness in the family. She informed the pastor that she saw no reason for him to visit because he couldn't possibly have anything to say to her. She also supports ending our Sunday night service. This is because this service doesn't, "put much money in the plate." Pay no attention to the fact that this service is one of the few genuine outreaches of the congregation. This service draws many people from the community that are battling with substance abuse.
As to other members of the council which runs the congregation, they are quite a group too. The treasurer often lets bills go past due, even though sufficient funds are available to pay the bills. At one budgetary meeting, after more than 90 minutes of debate concerning the budget for the coming year, one member of the council asked, "Wait, this is money that we already have, right? Why not just spend it as we need to?" Many members of the council fail to attend worship on a regular basis. The director of Christian education ended Sunday school for the summer a full two weeks before it usually ends so that she and her family could go camping.
For the last 15 years the congregation as not been able to take in enough in offering in order to meet expenses. The congregants seem to have no understanding of tithing. This might be because the church itself doesn't pass on even 5% of its budget to other mission projects. Intelligent management of the church's reserve fund yielded enough money to cover the shortfall for most of the 90s. This, however, is no longer the case.
For at least the last 20 years there has been no ministry targeted toward post-conformation age congregants. This has caused an entire generation to leave the church. This generation gap means that many of the people in the congregation who were once active are retiring and there is nobody there to fill in the gap that is left.
In the 4 years that I taught Sunday school and the 3 years that I served on council, I never once heard the question asked, "What does the Bible have to say about ______?"
Perhaps the thing that is most frustrating about this entire situation is that I must stay and watch in silence. On those occasions where I have attempted to speak my mind I have been dismissed out of hand. I cannot leave, or else I will lose my endorsement. I find myself wishing ill for the congregation so that I can escape this spiritual prison.
I know that many of my friends read this blog. Please pray for me.
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3 comments:
ouch. i don't suppose you could talk to your local bishop/upper guy... oh wait no you can't. because then it'll get fed back down to your local congregation somehow, and then there's this wonderful thing called church politics, and you don't want to offend anyone who you might have to work with in the future and...
yeah. church politics. okay i can see why you were in a cynical mood earlier.
as for wishing them ill... i think the best and also the worst thing you could wish someone, is that Jesus will be Lord of their life. It's the best because, well, Jesus does what only Jesus can do: He redeems us. It's the worst because the I, the self, has to be crucified in order to be resurrected from the dead. When Jesus comes into someone's life, that person is never the same again. And in a sense, that person dies, and a new person in Christ, is born. Perhaps the people in your home congregation need a spiritual rebirth, or to be continually renewed.
This should be where I get Pentecostal/Charismatic on you, and declare that what your church needs is the baptism of the Holy Spirit, accompanied by speaking in tongues and miraculous healings, and being slain in the Spirit. Although the only people who were slain in the Spirit that I can find in the Book, were Ananias and Sapphira. Hmm. Be careful what you pray for, Dave. ;-)
I attend a small Lutheran church in Colorado. I took this post to heart because I saw myself in many of the people you described, so that's a drag. It's too easy to bring the attitudes of the outside world into the church sometimes.
Regarding the DRE, did anyone step up to take over Summer Sunday School so she could take a break w/her family? Just wondering.
I certainly will be praying for you on this one, Dave. If you ever need someone to vent to about it, I'm here for you. I know what it's like to be in that kind of situation. The church I used to go back when I was younger was pretty bad like that. The pastor didn't really do his job in many cases (no hospital visitations, for example), and the people in the church did not get involved. People in that church were also backstabbers, and talked behind people's backs. Oftentimes, church politics got in the way of worshipping God when it should not. Unfortunately, all this came to a head when I was about to go into the confirmation class. I ended up going for two weeks, and then I quit. The pastor never called to find out why, either. I ended up getting confirmed two years later in a different church, the one I'm going to now that Chuck is currently involved with, but the point is that I know how bad "church hell" as you have named it can get. Unfortunately, the desire to leave can get to be pretty bad, and acting on those desires becomes all too easy. However, with God's help and strength, and the support of your friends, I know you'll be able to make it through, and maybe you'll be able to change things in the church for the better. God bless and take care.
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