An open letter to God

Dear God,

Sometimes, I just don't get it. Why is it that you always seem to think that I can handle way more than I do? Why is it that you let me care for people this way?

This is a strange place. I recognize the walls, the desk, the books. But I don't think that I recognize myself. I'm not sure that I know the person that other people see in me. How do I sing the Lord's song in a strange land? Is it fair to go to work every day and see the faces of my grandparents, my aunts, my uncle? I have to listen to them ask, "Why is God punishing me?" and "Why should I keep on living like this?" The faces asking the questions are new, but the voices, those are familiar. I know these people, and I love them.

Why couldn't I just come in, learn what I need to learn, and then go on my merry way? Or, could you have at least kept the people in Pittsburgh healthy long enough for me to get through the program?

This is such a roller-coaster of emotions. One minute someone is telling me how much they love to hear me preach and teach. The next, I'm running away, trying to find a place where the pain isn't so personal.

You know that one of my favorite songs is "Trading My Sorrows." God, help me to lay my sorrows down for your joys. Remind me that I do not have to do this alone. Help me to stand in your strength. If it wouldn't be too much trouble, could you give me just a peek at the other side of this whole thing?

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors, for nothing can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus.